Trauma never stops rearing its head even many years after the traumatic events. It is so normal to minimize what happened to you and delay the inevitable return of flashbacks, nightmares, depression and anxiety. Of course the symptoms and behaviors are way more numerous than these few and so often unidentified as trauma behaviors.
And what about what you did to survive? Have you even realized that some of the behaviors that may cause you shame are the things you learned to do to survive? As kids, we don’t have the language to describe our reactions and feelings and by the time we are adults, we have honed a ton of behaviors to try and hold our distress at bay.
It is good to debrief but even better to know the latest treatments, to experiment, and to be able to move forward and have plans for any future surprises, those things that can unexpectedly pop up and trigger a response. Did you know that even an innocent hand gesture or facial expression can cause the fight or flight reaction and that reaction can lead to so many other behaviors.
Trauma can prevent the joy of living life to its fullest and those feelings and reactions let you know that whatever happened still has power to disrupt your job, your parenting, your relationships, and so much more. Talking about it is not going to be worse than what you have already survived but it can feel that way, like if you speak of one thing, it will all come flying out of that carefully sealed box and you won’t be able to put it back after years of doing so successfully. Truth is, you will feel better, you will get better, you will develop new skills that are not the old survival skills that were defined by the trauma, not by you.
I make it easy to talk, there is no rush, and you also get an educational piece that may offer help much faster than you expected. At least take advantage of the complimentary 30 minute consultation to explore the possibilities. I look forward to talking to you on the phone or on ZOOM. Jan
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